May is Masturbation Month
28th May 2019
By Amy Gledhill
The end of May is June…. and possibly Boris Johnson, for our sins. Politics have always been everywhere but so much so at the moment that I feel I can’t look anywhere without it being shouted about. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing however, these things being shouted about are very important and it’s good to open up discussion, it’s great that people are becoming so interested.
We’re a strong ‘remain’ household and abhor the notion of Brexit, we embrace cultural diversity, the NHS has been a lifesaver to us and our families and understand that strength comes with unity.
Now that last statement means a lot currently; in a few states of America, and in Norther Ireland, lawmakers are striving to divide us, they always have, but the most recent attack is on uterus owners. This, for obvious reasons, is very important to me, and it should be to you too.
The only thing that we truly have which is our own is our bodies and we should have the choice to do with them as we want if we are of stable mind to responsibly make that choice.
Yes, I’m talking about abortion. I’m talking about a foetus needing a host to grow and survive, I’m talking about women choosing whether or not they want to give their body and their life up for this. Maybe this discussion should have been for a separate post but I want to impress the importance of self love, having respect for your body and what it can achieve (all genders), and having that choice in what your body goes through. When embryos/foetuses have more rights than fully grown women, you know something is wrong. When ‘pro-lifers’ punish abortion with murder, you know something is disgustingly wrong. If this was really about the sanctity of life, the womb owner would have her life respected over that of the unborn, we wouldn’t be murdering innocents in war. I won’t start on the discussion of rape and incest babies, I won’t start of the discussion of lack of (good) sex education in many parts of the world and I won’t start on the anger I have towards the rich white men that are dividing us all.
From this anger, comes a love I didn’t know I had to all the womb owners of the world, and the penis owners that stand with us and fight with us, supporting our everyday life and outspokenly supporting us. I see you, I stand with you in unity and I love you all.
So what does this have to do with masturbation? Well, May is International Masturbation Month and May 28th is the day to celebrate and protect our right to masturbate! Wanker’s Day, indeed!
From Wikipedia: “The first National Masturbation Day was observed May 7, 1995, after sex-positive retailer Good Vibrations declared the day in honour of Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders, who was fired in 1994 by President Bill Clinton for suggesting masturbation be part of the sex education curriculum for students.”
As much as we have come so far since then, there are still many in the world that aren’t able to masturbate for religious reasons or otherwise. We celebrate and protect our right to do what we want with our bodies, to feel that pleasure and escape that touching ourselves brings to own our bodies, to have no one telling us the right or wrong way to feel physically and emotionally. And we should do it, often. Stick it to prudes, the backwards lawmakers, the close minded family members, the controlling partners..
And lets be honest, we need that surge of happy hormones to get us through the day at the moment, to keep fighting for our rights as equal people in society.
Why is masturbation so important?
The health benefits of masturbation and orgasm:
Stimulates the release of the ‘love or cuddle hormone’ oxytocin which is linked to passion, intuition and social skills.
Elevates body confidence, sexual confidence and acceptance of sexuality.
Counteracts feelings of stress and depression.
Can help control the appetite as arousal increases dopamine up until the point of orgasm when it declines, helping to decrease or stop that ‘need to feed’.
Give a boost in testosterone which can increase libido/sexual desire, give more sex appeal, improve mood and memory and again, help prevent abdominal fat.
Orgasms can be an amazing pain reliever, studies show an orgasm can double our tolerance for pain and can do so without affecting our sensitivity to touch. That’s how we get rid of that headache!
Releases feel good hormones called endorphins which can give a sedative effect helping you get that great night’s sleep.
Improves circulation to sexual organs- growing healthy tissues.
Promotes healthy oestrogen levels to keep vaginal tissues supple, protect against osteoporosis and heart disease.
So what are the best ways to self love, how do I do it?
However the fuck you want to.
No seriously, there is no right or wrong way to pleasure yourself, some do it lying down, others standing up, many face down, even sideways. Just be comfortable. Explore yourself, start slowly and gently, find what gives you butterflies. Watch porn, recall an erotic memory, use that amazing brain of yours to create a fantasy, put on some music that really makes you feel, or be in silence. Whatever works for you.
Some like to really fuck themselves hard and others enjoy slow and sensual, but if you don’t try, you won’t find out.
Start with putting aside 20 minutes for yourself, yes you can, don’t make that excuse. Lock the door, put on your choice of visual or auditory aid and take some deep breaths.
A technique that I enjoy working on with clients is called Edging; if you haven’t heard of it, edging is bringing yourself close to the point of no return and then backing off and bringing yourself back down before tipping over into climax. It’s a fantastic tool to help you learn about yourself, what gets you going and how to control that orgasm. In a way you’re teasing yourself, you’re teaching your reactions to let YOU be in charge. Instead of one medium peak, that can often be rushed and simply frustration relieving, your building up with smaller peaks and then coming back down, building up again slightly more than last time, then coming back down. Each time you come up, you’ll reach a higher peak and when you choose to release and let yourself climax, that peak will be so much higher than the measly one you were having before.
One thing most people don’t use on themselves is the element of surprise; when with a partner, we’re out of control and don’t know what they might do next, that surprise can be exciting and sexy, so why don’t we bring this feeling into solo play? Alternate direction, speeds, pressures without creating a pattern. Most people that enjoy surprising themselves prefer this during buildup and then stay with a consistent pressure and/or speed as they approach climax.
I’m often asked about multiple orgasms by clients, a second or even third climax can be quite exhilarating and even more of a peak than the first. Don’t rush your first just so you can move on to another though! Treat yourself as if you’ll only be orgasming once, enjoy that orgasm for what it is and then hold some pressure on the area you are stimulating after climax, or spread that pressure out onto surrounding areas. Not too hard, and not too soft on your genitals as you let your body recover for around 30 seconds, more or less or whatever works for you. You’ll find you are usually very oversensitive, so don’t go blasting back in! Start gently, away from the most sensitive areas of the glans or clitoris, with less pressure than previously, use a similar technique to what originally aroused you and build back up but slower, you may need to stay away from the sensitive areas completely or you may be able to layer them with the skin around the area. Use some extra lubrication and try not to be tempted to rush the stimulation. Don’t forget that it’s not for everyone, it can take some practice and don’t force it.
What can I use to add to my experience?
If you’re into sex toys to add to your masturbation experience, we have a couple of recommendations for vulva owners and penis owners, our self love favourites:
- The Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation - a clitoral stimulator using pulses of air as a tapping sensation, it can be quite direct and intense for some but is a perfect option for those not wanting to put too much effort in or any vaginal entry. Read our review here.
We love it so much, we have it on sale here.
- The Womanizer Duo - a two in one new toy from the makers of We Vibe. As much as I’m not keen on the name, I do recommend this toy for those who like clitoral and internal stimulation simultaneously. The two motors are controlled separately, it’s flexible for most body shapes and includes their smart silence which I quite like. I’ll be writing a full review on this very soon and will link to it here once published, so keep your eye out.
We also have this product on sale here.
- The Je Joue Mimi - a small but perfectly formed, squishy ended stone shaped vibrator. Sits in the hand comfortably and it’s wonderful rumbly sensations send quivers through the body. Can be used flat for dispersed pleasure over the whole vulva, perineum or up the penis shaft and head or on it’s side or end for more direct stimulation to the lips, clitoris, anus or glans.
- The Hot Octopus Pulse Solo - a ‘guybrator’ for penis owners. It’s wings wrap around the shaft as it’s pulse plate sends waves of pleasure through you, stimulating blood flow. Can be simply held in place or used with lubrication as a masturbator. A wonderful device for those struggling with erectile dysfunction, looking to increase the strength of their erection or simply exploring a new toy.
- The Tenga Spinner - with it’s innovative inner helix, this masturbation sleeve lets you apply dynamic firmness and pressure for you to find inventive ways to play. Different inner textures available. Just add lube and easily wash out afterwards.
As you know, we very much recommend YES lubricant; organic, natural, gynaecologist recommended and pH balanced for the vagina or anus. The Oil Based and Water Based mixed together for solo play is simply wonderful, giving you that long lasting slippery slide to help you love yourself and leave your skin feeling amazing.
That’s enough for now; a long post, I had a lot to say!
I hope you find some or at least one of these tips or recommendations useful. Feel free to get in touch for advice or comments.
Happy Self Loving!